Cherish Every Moment
by Erika
Summary: QuiGon reflects on how much ObiWan has changed and grown and considers the time they have left together.


Yay!  I'm finally off of school, and in-between looking for a new apartment and spending some time with my brother, who's home from grad school, I managed to write this story. =D  It's, well…about twice as long as I thought it would be so it moves really slowly, but I hope it's not too boring and that you all enjoy it.  

Please tell me what you think!

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**_Title_****:** Cherish Every Moment

**_Author_****:** Erika

**_Rating_****: **PG

**_Summary_****: **Qui-Gon reflects on how much Obi-Wan has changed and grown and considers the time they have left together.

**_Time Frame_****:** Obi-Wan is 18.

**_Spoilers_****: **JA (although I should point out that I haven't read the last few books, so for all I know I contradict JW)

**_Category_****: **POV, reflection, non-slash

**_Disclaimers_****:** The Star Wars universe and all of its characters belong to George Lucas, I'm only borrowing them to have a little fun and I promise to return them unharmed (well, at least mostly unharmed =0).  I'm making no money from this and this is written for entertainment purposes only.  Any characters that are not recognizable as being part of the Star Wars universe belong to me, but you guys probably figured that out, right?

**_Feedback_****:** Both positive feedback and *_constructive_* criticism are greatly appreciated and will be cherished! (firedrake88@yahoo.com)

**_Archive_****:** Jedi Apprentice, Early Years, Wolfie's Den, JAFD, The Guardians of Peace, The Temple Library, Telly, and any sites who have any of my other stories.  Anyone else who wants this, please ask and send me a link to your site so that I can check it out. =D

**_Unimportant Note That Everyone Will Probably Skip:_**  I've been working mostly on longer SW stories lately – that's why I haven't been posting much – but I got this idea for a short, simple fic so I took a break from my other stories to write this.  It's great to start and finish a story so quickly again!!

**_Special Thanks To_**: Faith Leigh!!  Without realizing it, she helped me out with this fic!!  In an e-mail I mentioned this quotation from Star Trek: Generations ("Time is the fire in which we burn, captain, and right now, my time is running out,") and then she responded and said that she really liked something Captain Picard had said, ("I'd rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because they'll never come again.  What we leave behind is not as important as how we lived.  After all, we're only mortal.")  When I started writing this story, I realized that idea would go great with what Qui-Gon's thinking about.  I also got the name of the story, which I was having trouble with, from that.  So, thanks Faith! =D

This is un-betad so all mistakes are mine!

Things enclosed in * *'s are *_italic_*

Things enclosed in 's are telepathic communication through the Master/Padawan bond.

_~ Cherish Every Moment ~_

Qui-Gon:

          Having been knighted many years ago, I of course had been sent on a good number of long term missions.  The three months I had just spent on the planet Aderane, overseeing the many tedious ceremonies and procedures associated with inducting a planet into the Republic, was nothing compared to my two year stay on Gala, when I was thirty.  

          Although at times tiresome, my duties on Aderane had allowed me to meditate and enjoy the planet's scenic beauty on the many days on which there was very little for me to do.  The majestic waterfalls, surrounded by hundreds of acres of rare white-leafed forest trees, were immersed in a mist of living Force so strong that it was said to be the only place in the universe where a Jedi could truly experience its magnificence.  Meditating daily among that beautiful energy, so filled with love and peace, had left me more centered than I could remember feeling in a very long time.  

          It had truly been a wonderful experience and I could not imagine a more breathtaking place to be sent on a mission, but it simply had not been as fulfilling as it would have been had I not gone alone.  It was the first solo mission I had been assigned since taking Obi-Wan as my Padawan and I found that I deeply missed his company.  I greatly wished that I could have shared my experiences with him.  He had trouble connecting to the living Force.  Not only would it have helped him understand the exquisiteness I felt in it, but it would have given us time to simply enjoy being together.  Time which we rarely had.  

          For the last five years we had worked with and taught one another many things.  Spending a great deal of time in the field we had of course grown to be friends, however, it wasn't until this last year that we had truly become close.  Perhaps it was his heightened level of maturity, or that we now worked more as partners than teacher and student, or the fact that something about his bright, warm personality had slowly melted the ice protecting my heart, or a combination of many different things.  Whatever the reason, we had formed a relationship of trust and love that I held very close to me.

          I could claim that I regretted not being able to use the time to continue teaching and guiding him, which would of course be true, but not entirely.  I had *_missed_* him.  It was as simple as that.  I had missed his continuous presence at my side.  His loyalty.  His friendship.  His dedication to learning.  His desire to help others.  The spark in his eyes and that slightly crooked grin that lit up his face whenever he was happy.  I had missed being with him and watching him grow more skilled from day to day.

          We had spoken, of course.  Sometimes more than once a day, but it wasn't the same.  This mission had served as an uncomfortable foreshadowing of what it would be like when Obi-Wan was knighted and I was sent on only solo missions, as I had been before accepting him as my apprentice.  After Xanatos, I had grown to falsely relish my solitude, but Obi-Wan had changed that and I knew that I would find myself terribly lonely once he passed his trials.  I had grown to depend on the joy he brought to my life, and the thought of seeing him only when we both happened to be at the Temple saddened me and weighed heavily upon my heart.  

          I didn't want to let him go.

          Whether I liked it or not, that time would come.  Sooner than I had imagined five years ago when I had first called him Padawan.  Obi-Wan, impassioned with learning as he was, had advanced in leaps and bounds.  Controlling his anger – which I had greatly feared would be a problem upon first taking him – was something that he rarely, if ever, had problems with anymore.  His impatience had melted away into an inner peace that he was still deepening, and his connection to the Force had greatly increased.  His lightsaber skills rivaled some senior Padawans three or four years older than him.  His negotiating skills had progressed to the level where I had decided that soon, perhaps in a few months, I would let him take the lead in a mission.  

          Despite his impressive abilities, I knew that he still had much to learn.  He had turned eighteen only five months ago and I was now predicting that he would face his trials in his 24th or 25th year.  We still had many years together, but somehow it didn't seem enough.  Instead it seemed like time was mercilessly hunting me, taunting me with its ability to quickly steal Obi-Wan away.  Hadn't it been only yesterday when I had awoken to the realization that the day before I had done what I swore I would never again do?  With the realization that I had indeed taken another apprentice?  Force, how could the time have passed so quickly?  Would I wake up tomorrow to find that it was the day of his first mission as a Knight?

          I knew the thought of my Padawan achieving his greatest dream should have filled me with joy, and on some level, it did.  I was *_very_* proud of Obi-Wan, and grew prouder everyday.  For nothing in the universe would I detain his advancement or hold him back.  When the day came to cut his braid and bestow upon him the rank of a Jedi Knight, I would be extraordinarily happy.  But I would also be very saddened.  Not sad because he was ready to face the universe – the trials and tribulations of being a Knight – by himself, but simply sad because he'd be moving out of my life, because I wouldn't be there to protect him anymore, even though he wouldn't need someone to watch over him.  Sad because I'd be losing my best friend.

          Every time I thought of this, which had been rather frequently as of late, I would tell myself that I shouldn't feel like that.  It was wonderful that he was advancing at such a level and watching him mature should only have filled me with joy, not sadness.  I didn't want Obi-Wan to pick up on my emotions and misunderstand them.  Since when had I begun to view time as an enemy when as a Jedi I was taught to accept the natural changes things underwent?  Since when had I begun to worry about the future, instead of focusing on the present as I so often told Obi-Wan to do?

          A large hand fell upon my shoulder and squeezed it tightly, bringing me back to the reality around me with a small start.  "Qui-Gon?" Mace Windu's voice sounded worried and I looked up to see him bending over me, concern etched over his face.

          I threw a quick glance around me.  I was kneeling on one of the comfortable cushions provided in the waiting room of the Council Chambers.  There was no timepiece in the room, perhaps so that Jedi Masters with impatient Padawans wouldn't know exactly how long they had been waiting, but I surmised that I had been here for at least half an hour.  

          "Yes, Mace Windu?" I answered softly, meeting his questioning gaze.

          "Are you well?" he asked, "You seemed rather oblivious to me when I first entered and did not appear to be meditating."

          I offered the Council member a small smile, "Thank you for your concern, but I am fine.  I was merely distracted by my own thoughts."

          He nodded solemnly and straightened until he was standing upright.  Following suit, I rose from my kneeling position and waited for him to speak.

          "Forgive us for keeping you waiting.  We were in the middle of an unexpected, but very important meeting.  We are ready to hear your mission report now."  He bowed slightly and turned to confidently stride back into the Council Chambers.

          Taking a few moments to center myself in the Force and dispel any remnants of my troubled thoughts, I followed him and prepared to give my briefing.

~~~~~~~~~~

          "Qui-Gon!" Upon exiting the Council Chambers I was immediately greeted by the joyful bellow of my old friend Maravek, who was practically dancing his way across the waiting room towards me.

          I had met Maravek as a young Initiate and his eternal joy had drawn me to him.  Most Jedi, myself included, were very serious by nature.  He was anything but.  It seemed that no matter what, even if he was going through a particularly difficult time, he was always happy.  According to him, 'Problems don't go away if all you do is worry about them, so I figure that I might as well be as happy as I can.  What's the point of going through life like it's some depressing soap opera of crises?'

          His nature made him a wonderful person to be around and he had the uncanny ability to make me feel better no matter what direction my thoughts seemed intent upon going.  Always smiling and laughing, I could only describe him as being 'glowy.'  The thing I loved the most about him was, despite his ability to always make me laugh, and despite the fact that his behavior was often silly, he was a very wise friend who knew how to impart his advice in a humorous, although somewhat obscure, way.

          Maravek was a Relesican; a race which was characterized by being much bigger than humans, having heads that were disproportionately larger than their bodies, and skin that was a pale blue.  Usually, they also had white hair, but Maravek was unsurprisingly strange in that way as well.  The fact that his head was very small, at least for a Relesican, also made him stand out sorely among his own people  His was completely raven-black except for one streak of white that hung over his right temple.  Towering over me by at least two feet, he had to duck to get into almost every room.  His eyes were eerily white.  In general, his appearance was very odd and intimidating to those who didn't know him.  I, however, had watched Maravek grow up and knew him to be a very gentle and caring friend.

          "Maravek," I answered in a subdued tone, smiling as he stepped forward and tightly clasped my hand in both of his, shaking it vigorously.

          "How have you been?" he roared with a grin, heedless of the fact that the Council was in session in just the next room.

          I wrenched my hand back before he could completely cut off the circulation of blood with his strong grip, and halfway shrugged.  "My mission went well but I am glad to be back."

          My friend's shaggy white eyebrows shot up and he narrowed his eyes slightly, "I know that tone of voice.  What's wrong, Jinny?"

          Maravek was also incredibly empathic.  Usually I was very skilled at remaining 'unreadable as a blank sheet', as Obi-Wan liked to describe me, but somehow I could never fool him.  I shook my head.  "I missed my Padawan's presence during this mission," I admitted softly, "and it has gotten me to thinking about how…I will hardly see him once he's knighted, and how hard it will be for me to work alone again."

          Signaling for him to follow me, I began leading him back to my quarters where we could talk about Obi-Wan and his progress during the last three months.  

          Maravek shot me an understanding look, "I knew that being so close to him would make you take his knighting in the worst possible way!  How very typical of you!" he declared with a smile, "So much for keeping 'your focus on the here and now'.  Isn't that what you're always telling Obi-Wan?"

          I couldn't help but smile slightly.  It was his way of telling me that I should listen to my own advice.  He was right, of course.  It was just harder than usual.  Harder because I knew the clock was always running, always subtracting from the time Obi-Wan and I had left.  "I know," I agreed, "it's just that I can't help but think about what it will be like to work alone again.  I used to seek the solace of being alone.  I used to think I was better off alone, so that no one could hurt me again, but he changed that."  I smiled sadly, "He…"

          "He healed you, my friend," Maravek interrupted me in an unusually serious tone that made me stop walking – causing him to do the same – and turn to him.  Appraising him, I saw that for once, his demeanor was quite solemn.  His eyes, surprisingly gentle considering his appearance, were filled with melancholy joy.  Leaving himself purposefully unguarded, with low mental shields, he made it easy for me to feel that it had been very hard for him to watch my reaction to Xanatos' turning, and that the joy he had felt at seeing the slow metamorphosis Obi-Wan had brought to me had been heartfelt.

          My heart contracted slightly and an immense gratitude for my friend's caring filled me.  With a smile, I touched his arm and thanked him silently for his support, for his kindness, and for his love.  I had allowed myself to grow apart from Maravek after Xanatos' turning and had inadvertently hurt him by doing so.  So lost had I been in my grief that I hadn't even realized what I had done.  Now, now that I was willing to open myself to being friends with someone, and loving someone, our friendship was healing.  I felt guilty for the pain I had caused him, of course, but taking his advice to heart I knew that I could not dwell on that.  Instead I had to be grateful for the friendship he extended to me despite my actions, and never take that for granted again.

          "You are a very good friend," I whispered with a smile, knowing full well that I had Obi-Wan to thank for my ability to open my heart again.  

          A grin lit up Maravek's face and I could feel the extent of his joy, making any words unnecessary.  Finally, when the moment of silence had run its course, he repeated his previous words, "He healed you," and turned to continue walking.

          Nodding, I followed him and said, "Indeed he did.  Almost without my realizing it."  In fact, it wasn't until this very last mission that I understood what a dramatic effect he had had on my life.  He had shown me that it was all right to trust again, all right to care for someone again.  As always seemed to be the case, I hadn't realized how much I had grown to rely on his companionship until I went without it.

          "I will tell you only one thing, Qui-Gon," he continued, all-smiles again, "It is something that Obi-Wan said to me only a few weeks ago, when we were waiting for word on Bant's condition.  Sadly, with heavy eyes, he turned to me, 'Maravek, we must cherish every moment that we are given, because we never know what moment will be our last.'"  After a pause of silence, he added, "I have to hand it to you, Jinny, Obi-Wan has some wisdom in him.  Although, come to think of it, he probably picked that up from Yoda, and not you."  He was joking, of course.

          A little over three weeks earlier, Obi-Wan had contacted me, nearly in tears, to tell me that Bant had suffered a terrible accident while 'saber training, and that the healers didn't know whether she would survive.  I had wanted so badly to comfort him, but stuck on a planet nearly a day's travel away, all I could do was listen and offer my own pitiful words of understanding.  I knew that Maravek would look after the boy, but I felt guilty – and helpless – for not being there when Obi-Wan needed me.  Fortunately, Bant had pulled through and with time, would recover completely.

          "So, I assume you would like to hear about the Padawan that you spend hours bragging to me about?"  Maravek cut into my thoughts before I could think about Obi-Wan's words.

          I smiled, "Of course," I agreed, stifling my retort that I did not *_brag* _about my Padawan.  I simply…spoke fondly of him.

           When I had first been informed that the Council was sending me on a solo mission, in order to give Obi-Wan an opportunity to catch up on his studies, I had spent hours debating the Council's decision with Yoda.  Finally, I had been forced to relent, and had immediately gone to Maravek and asked him to watch over the boy while I was away.

          "As you asked me to, I checked in on him every few days.  I'm sure you'll be very pleased with his progress.  It will give you even more to brag about!"  He playfully elbowed me and chuckled loudly.  "Not only has he completely caught up in all his classes, but his teachers have moved him into advanced classes and even some classes with the Senior Padawans.  He has time not only to do his homework, but other activities as well.  As you will soon see."

          Rather abruptly I realized that at some point Maravek had discretely begun changing our course – which would have eventually led us through the Temple halls and to Obi-Wan's and my quarters – towards the instructing section of the Temple, where most of the classes were given.

          Hoping to surprise Obi-Wan, I had purposefully neglected to inform him that my mission had ended and that I would be arriving at the Temple today.  I had hoped to have prepared his favorite meal for him by the time he returned from his classes, which I knew ended at around five, so that we could enjoy our first quiet evening at home in over six months.  A constant string of missions, followed by my solo mission, had kept us from eating a relaxing meal together in a long time.  I had carefully been shielding myself from him and if he saw me now, it would ruin my surprise.

           "Maravek," I spoke sternly as we walked, "there is no need to make my Padawan nervous, or embarrass him, by watching him while he's in class."

          He laughed, "I think, my friend, that you have little concern for embarrassing Obi-Wan.  In fact, I spoke with him earlier this morning and it was my distinct impression that he was not aware of your return."

          I could not restrain an exaggerated sigh.  Force, he always saw straight through me!  "Then you understand that I would like to surprise him."

          "Yes, I understand," he sounded almost theatrical now, emphasizing each word with unnecessarily broad hand motions.  As always, his antics made me smile.  "But I also know that this will be worth it.  Besides, you will still surprise him…just a little earlier than you planed."

          "What is it that can't wait?" I questioned, faking my exasperation. 

          Maravek stopped me in front of one of the classroom doors and grinned, "This."

          Shaking my head, I opened the door quietly stepped inside the classroom.  Expecting to see Obi-Wan attentively listening to the teacher, or eagerly taking part of some activity, I was surprised at what I found.  Far from being a class in advanced physics or something such as that, it appeared to be a workshop for young Initiates.  The students, twenty in total, were all four to five years old and were spread out across the small classroom, practicing beginning 'saber techniques.  Each had an appropriately sized lightsaber and was trying to block the small, harmless, energy bolts that spherical apparatuses were shooting at them.  Obi-Wan, standing in front of the children, was observing their progress and offering tips and advice to those who were struggling.

          Frowning, I glanced about the room one more time, expecting to see one of the teachers, or perhaps Master Yoda, carefully watching the children and Obi-Wan's progress with them.  Instead I found that Maravek and myself were the only Masters present.  Now I was surprised and confused.  My Padawan was only eighteen, and Senior Padawans, ages 20 and older, were the only ones, aside from Knights and Masters, that were allowed to teach classes.  How in the world had he managed to be given a class and why hadn't he told me of it?  We spoke everyday and aside from telling me that his classes were going well, he hadn't mentioned that he was participating in any other activities, such as teaching.

          Looking over my shoulder, I saw that Maravek had come to stand just behind me and that his face bore an inordinately pleased expression.  Raising my eyebrows, I let him read the unspoken question in my eyes.  Raising an eyebrow – an extremely shaggy eyebrow – of his own, he took note of my surprise and returned only a smile.

          Returning my attention to my Padawan, I realized that he was so engrossed in his task that he had not heard or seen us enter.  Focused solely on his class, he was oblivious to our presence.  Our bond, which I had long since begun to carefully monitor to ensure that he did not sense my presence in the Temple and ruin my surprise, was still as silent as ever and allowed me to carefully observe the boy without his being aware of my presence.

          My Padawan's eyes, I saw, were directed towards the young Initiates and so I also turned to watch them.  Most of them were doing well by blocking a little less than half of the energy bolts and coming close to deflecting the others.  Their connection to the Force was tenuous but they were able to use it to anticipate the trajectory of some of the energy bolts and with practice, would advance until they were ready to take on greater challenges.  

          One of the students, a young boy with tawny blond hair and distressed blue eyes, was having more trouble than the others.  His 'saber movements were always a handful of seconds too late to block the energy bolts and I could easily sense his growing frustration and dismay.  After watching him for only a few moments I was able to determine his problem: he was relying on his eyes instead of the Force.  His reflexes were quick, but not quick enough to wait and watch the direction of the shots and still be able to deflect them.

          Obi-Wan, noting the same problem, was already moving to help the student and I watched, curious, to see what he would do.  From speaking with his teachers I knew that whenever one of his fellow students was struggling, he was always willing to help.  However, I myself had never seen this and I wondered if he would express the same zeal for teaching as he did for learning.

          "Malcon," he drew the boy aside from the others.

          Malcon, clearly thinking that he would be rebuked for not doing well, flicked his 'saber off and, with sagging shoulders, followed my Padawan to the side of the room.  Initiates as young as he was were not overly skilled in shielding their thoughts and emotions and I could quite easily feel that he was very disappointed in himself and aggravated by his perceived failure.

          "Yes, Obi-Wan?" his small, weary voice told me that as much as he wanted to get the exercise right, he was very near giving up and was embarrassed that all of his classmates were doing better than him.

          My Padawan placed a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder and when he spoke his voice was gentle and understanding.  "You seem to be having trouble, do you need help?"

          Malcon hesitated before answering.  "I…I just don't understand how…I'm supposed to block them…  I try to see what way the bolts will come…but I can't."  He shot a despairing look around the room, "And they can all do it!" he gestured at the others, "I…I don't know why I can't."  His lowered his head and his shoulders shook slightly.  Although young Jedi were taught from a very early age how to release their emotions into the Force, sometimes it was hard for them when they were frustrated, as this boy was.

          Obi-Wan nodded in understanding and tilted the boy's chin up with a finger.  I expected him to explain how to use the Force to 'see' and predict things, and was surprised at what he said.  "I know how you feel."

          I didn't have to use the Force to know Malcon was surprised.  "How?" he asked, "You're so good at everything!  I watch you when you're training, and you never have trouble with anything," he spoke with a child's hero-worship and I knew he did not see how hard Obi-Wan worked to do well, nor how often he did not succeed on his first few attempts to do something new.  "They even have you in classes with the Senior Padawans!"

          A smile graced Obi-Wan's lips and he nodded slightly, "No matter what it looks like, I have trouble too.  I often need my Master to explain or show me something more than once, and even then sometimes it takes longer than I would like to get something right."

          The boy remained unconvinced, "But you can keep up with kids that are older than you, I can't even do what they can," again he gestured at his classmates.

          My Padawan nodded, "I know how that feels," he said again.  "When I was your age I had problems with this same exercise.  It was hard for me to use the Force when I could see with my eyes where the energy bolts were coming from.   I didn't understand how to use the Force, and rely less on my vision, to predict their course.  I tried, and I tried, and I tried, but I couldn't do it.  I felt…inferior to the other students, and embarrassed because they could see how poorly I was doing.  I had never had serious problems with anything else, and I couldn't understand why I was falling behind all of a sudden."  His voice was distant, as was his gaze, as he remembered how sad and frustrated he had been.

          Surprised, the boy asked, "You had problems with this too?" almost as if he didn't believe him.

          Obi-Wan grinned, "Yes, I did.   By the end of the session, I still hadn't deflected a single shot but I didn't want to give up.  So that night I snuck out of the crèche and came back to the training room.  For hours I practiced, but didn't do any better."  For a moment Obi-Wan's shields faltered and I received a flash of memory from him.  Shamed, frustrated, and near the point of tears, he had let his lightsaber fall to the floor and wondered why he wasn't as smart as his fellow Initiates.  

          The image of my Padawan's broken spirit clenched at my heart.  Even when Obi-Wan had trouble with something and was discouraged by his failed attempts, I had never seen him so defeated.  I hadn't realized that Obi-Wan had ever had problems with any of his early 'saber exercises, and never would have guessed it either.  He was always excelled in that area; it was hard to imagine him doing anything else.

          "Without my knowledge, however, Yoda had been watching me," Obi-Wan continued, "and he told me that no matter what, I should never give up and that just because I was slower than the other students, didn't make me stupid, or inadequate.  Then he blindfolded me and asked me to try again.  So I did.  And even though I didn't get it the first time, or even the third, Yoda didn't let me give up until finally, I understood what I had been missing.  I had been relying too much on my eyes, and less on the Force.  Since then, I've had problems with many other things, but I always remember that one night with Yoda, and I don't give up,"  he paused and then, without a trace of arrogance, added,  "Now, I'm in a advanced 'saber class with Senior Padawans.  I know that if you don't give up, you can do it too."

          Malcon seemed to consider Obi-Wan's words and although he was doubtful, he asked, "Do you think a blindfold will help me?"

          My Padawan smiled, "It might.  Why don't you try?"  Reaching over towards one of the supply counters, Obi-Wan grabbed a blindfold and handed it to the child.  "Maybe it will help you to only use the Force, instead of trying too hard to see where the energy bolts will come from."

          The boy grabbed the blindfold and retook his position with the other students.  Although he still seemed unsure, Obi-Wan's story had given him more confidence and now he was re-energized and ready to try again.

          Smiling, Obi-Wan returned to his position in front of the class and continued observing the students' progress.  Even without using our bond, I could feel the strength of his joy at being able to do for these students what his teachers had once done for him.  

          There were times when Obi-Wan was upset, distraught, or confused, and needed my guidance and comfort, but now, at this moment, he was radiating a beautiful serenity that soothed the ache in my heart.  He was so at peace here, teaching these children, helping them hone their skills.  Seeing them sparkle with joy when they did well ignited a deep satisfaction that burned within him and shone through his bright blue-green eyes and gentle bearing.  He enjoyed teaching – truly loved it – and it showed.  

          A great wave of pride swelled and filled me.  Obi-Wan had had many teachers in his life, but I knew that I had, in part, helped him get to where he was today.  Those same abilities that impressed me now, would, with my help and his motivation, continue to grow until he was ready to reach out on his own.  Now, for the first time, I thought of his knighting without the sadness of losing him.  Seeing him like this showed me that not only would he thrive on his own, but he would deeply enjoy the life he had chosen.  He would be happy serving and helping others.  Knowing that he would be happy in turn made me happy for him.  By watching him as a Padawan I had always known he would enjoy being a Knight and taking an apprentice of his own, but somehow observing him when he didn't know I was here and wasn't trying, in any way, to seek my approval, made it more real for me.

          I would miss him, of course, but I would know that he was out there, on some planet, doing what he loved to do, and what he had worked for his entire life.  That would be enough for me.  I would be able to let him go, even if I would mourn the loss of his constant presence.  We would still speak, by subspace, and see each other when we could.  Our friendship wouldn't die; neither I nor Obi-Wan would let it.  Why had I ever thought otherwise?  

          Besides, we would still be Master and apprentice for about six more years and that was a lot of time.  What was it that Obi-Wan had said to Maravek?  *_''Maravek, we must cherish every moment that we are given, because we never know what moment will be our last._'*  As always, my Padawan spoke with wisdom beyond his years.  He was right.  I had begun to see time as an enemy, but it wasn't.  It was simply something that was always with us, reminding us with its presence that we couldn't waste our life away or take anything for granted because life was a tenuous balance that could so easily be tipped.  

          Friends could be lost in the passing of a single instant.  Every second that was granted to us was precious and could not be wasted.  I had to cherish every moment that Obi-Wan and I had together before he was knighted.  And then, after that, I had to continue to treasure every time we arranged to speak and see each other.  It wouldn't be nearly as often as we saw each other now, of course, but that was the way of things.  As a Master my duty was to raise him to knighthood.  As a friend my duty was to be there for him when he needed me.  It had been, and would continue to be, an honor to both things.

          A tremendous weight that had settled over my heart suddenly lifted and I felt refreshed and rejuvenated.  Things would change, that was unavoidable, but I had released my worry and fear and was ready for what the future held.  I was ready and waiting for it.  The day of Obi-Wan's knighting would be the happiest day of his life, and I would shine with joy at watching him embrace his future.  All was, and would be, as it should.

          Lowering the shields I had erected around my thoughts, I reached out to touch Obi-Wan through our bond.  I did not speak to him; I merely reopened the connection between us that space and distance had weakened.  Then I drew upon his calmness and let it mingle with my own.  Offering him my own emotions I, with his help, established a pool of Force energy that surrounded and permeated our bond.  Our strengthened link was like a stream of constant light between our minds and it filled me with a peaceful joy to once again feel his constant presence in my mind.  

          This bond we shared was already much more powerful than that of most Masters and Padawans and continued to grow with our deepening friendship.  By the time of his knighting I knew that it would be strong enough that no matter how far apart we were and no matter what we were doing, we would always have this link.  Forever tying us together, it would ensure that whenever we needed comfort, or simply someone to talk to, we would have each other.  That knowledge further reassured me that even though I would miss his companionship, in a way, we would never truly be apart, even after death

          A touch of surprised confusion filtered through our bond as Obi-Wan looked up over the heads of the small children to meet my gaze.  The question in his eyes quickly disappeared and was replaced by a heartwarming joy to see me.  A small smile touched the corners of his mouth and rapidly expanded into a full grin that lit up his entire face.  On the heels of his surprise, I received a flood of friendship and caring that made me smile.   His reaction said it all:  he had missed me as well.

          We held the gaze, basking in the renewed beautiful Force connection between us and the depths of our friendship, until one of the Initiates tugged persistently on his robe and he turned his attention back to his class, ready to help the young girl who had requested his attention, as well as anyone else who was having trouble.

          Invigorated by what I had seen, I turned and followed Maravek out of the classroom.

~~~~~~~~

          According to Maravek, Obi-Wan had requested that one of his teachers recommend him to the Council for a teaching position.  He thought that he would receive the customary reminder that he was too young and was surprised when Mace Windu had met with him and granted him permission to teach one class of young Initiates.  This only reinforced my knowledge that my Padawan would be a great Jedi Knight.  

          I had pressed Maravek for more information on the boy's recent activities, as I suspected that there was more Obi-Wan had purposefully neglected to tell me, but my friend had refused, assuring me that my Padawan wanted to inform me himself.

          As soon as my friend left I had begun preparing the boy's favorite meal, just as I had planned, and awaiting his return to our quarters.  At around five, just when I had finished setting everything up, I sensed that my Padawan was nearing and left the dining room to great him.  A few moments later, Obi-Wan was walking into the living room and the doors were sliding shut behind him.

          "Qui-Gon!" he exclaimed joyously as he quickly crossed the space between us, and to my surprise, hugged me tightly.

          My Padawan was by nature a very warm person and I had seen him exchange many hugs with his good friends, such as Bant, but a touch of endearing shyness usually prevented him from doing the same with me.  We had hugged, of course, but I usually was the one who initiated such an overt show of affection.

          Hastily overcoming my shock at Obi-Wan's unusual boldness, I wrapped my arms around him and rested my chin on his shortly cropped hair.  "It is good to see you again, Obi-Wan," I whispered mildly, rubbing soft circles over his back.

          "I missed you," he replied, his voice muffled by my chest and clothes.

          As I did you, I spoke through our bond, I missed you as my Padawan, and as my dear friend.

          A wash of gratitude and happiness flooded our bond along with Obi-Wan's reply, Thank you, he said, You're one of my closest friends.

          I tightened my embrace, holding him close when he would have pulled away, and we stayed like that for a long moment, our mutual caring and love flowing freely between us as we both gave our gratitude for how far we had come since our first few missions as Master and Padawan.

          Finally, I released him and we both stepped back and smiled.  Obi-Wan was blushing slightly, a testament to the embarrassment he always felt when we exchanged such a moment, but I stopped him from lowering his head by very gently tugging on his braid, which was now so long as to nearly reach his waist. 

          "I'm glad you're back, but," he fixed me with a mock glare and jokingly reprimanded me, "it's a twenty hour flight from Aderane, which means that this morning you were already on your way back and you didn't tell me."

          I laughed.  I had missed Obi-Wan's sense of humor as well.  "I wanted to surprise you," I pleaded for forgiveness in an equally teasing manner, "please try not to stay angry with me for too long."

          "How could I, when I need your help?"

          "Already?  With what?"

          "Well," he spoke with equal measures of pride and shyness, "Master Yoda thinks that I'm ready to compete in the Senior Padawan 'Saber Tournament and although I am taking a preparatory class, I find sparing with you much more…beneficial."

          So that was what Maravek said Obi-Wan would want to tell me about himself.  At eighteen, sparing in the Senior Padawan tournament was quite an achievement and although I was very proud, I was not surprised.  He was a very skilled with the blade and as he continued to improve he was coming closer and closer to defeating me when we fought.  I had no doubt that in less than a year he would truly be challenging me to win against his innovative and daring style.

          With a broad grin, I allowed my pride to shine clearly through our bond and said, "That is wonderful, Obi-Wan, I am sure that you will do well and I would be honored to help you prepare."

          The boy smiled shyly and ducked his head, "Thank you, Master," he murmured.

          I nodded and then draped my arm around his shoulders and began leading him towards the dining area, "Come along, Obi-Wan, I still have a surprise for you."

          The boy's ears perked up and he looked around, "Did you bring me something?"

          Laughing again, I answered, "No, but I did make something for you."  I gestured towards the table, which I had already set.

          Obi-Wan's eyes widened in surprise and he exclaimed, "You made Perilian noodles with Mero sauce?  For me?"

          I squeezed his shoulder, "Yes, of course for you.  And, for desert, I also made…"

          "Rosanz cake?" he interrupted, rushing forward to take his place at the table.

          "I do understand that it is your favorite," I answered, watching as the boy began piling the food onto his plate, forming a small mountain of sauce and noodles.  Although he had learned and grown so much, one thing that hadn't changed was his appetite.  He still ate enough to keep a small Barilic Wolf alive and healthy.  

          For a moment I watched Obi-Wan, who was already eating, oblivious to the fact that I hadn't joined him, and considered the future.  Together, we would continue to travel the road that would lead him to knighthood, but I knew that I would not be the only one to teach for he would also continue to share his light and love with me, continuously showing me the ways of trust and friendship, which I had forgotten so long ago.

          "Aren't you coming?" Obi-Wan finally realized that I was just standing there, watching him, and fixed me with a curious stare.

          I cocked my head and stared at the amount of food on his plate, which surprisingly he had already managed to eat a fair share of, and asked, "Are you sure there's enough left for me?" before moving to join him at the table, ready to enjoy the rest of our evening together.

THE END

*everyone cheers because they FINALLY reached the end of the story*

Yeah, I know, it was really boring, but that's because all the interesting stuff is happening in the other SW fics I'm writing!


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